Toucan & JJ's One Piece Stuff

 

After the events of Punk Hazard, Law, who'd never given much thought to his future, realized that they not only had a solid chance at bringing down Doflamingo, that wanted to stay with these men for the rest of his life, AS WELL we being slammed with desire to have children with the fools. Horrified, he told Smoker to get it off his chest, and for a span, the secret stayed hidden. Eventually, as the world becan to cool in the aftermath of STRAW HATS, he brought up the topic to the group. Genuinely uncaring about whose bloodkin the hypothetical child was, Law went as far to suiggest everyone toss in a sample to be mixed together, then that he "turkey baste" himself. Sabo, concerned about his own genetic history (inbreeding in nobility), Drake, fearful due to his own horrific history with his father, and Lind, generally unbothered overall—all opted to pass. Ace became an unholy terror, vibrating in excitement over the prospect. Smoker was, ambivalent, but interested.

 

In the end, they drew straws. Ace cheated. Everyone knew, but no one ever confronted him on the matter until after Anne's birth. Noone cared.

 

Drake caught baby fever after Anne was born and with the man finally over over the fearful hurdle of becoming his father, but Smoker, now with a fire lit under his ass, challenged him to a no-powers, but otherwise no-holds-barred fistfight on the lawn for the "right" to pick first next. Law sat on the porch and laughed ("Yes! Fight for my love!") as everyone else just watched. Smoker won, Finch happened. Page's zoan, a female spinosaurus, did a fair amount of influencing his decision in pursuing parenthood. Drake got jumped and Ness was 500% conceived in the fucking woods, full dinosex style.

 

Drake bawled when Landon was born and it set everyone off. Between that and the relief that everything was okay with both Koby and child, Law, who'd acted as Koby's primary physician throughout the entire pregnancy, went into labor a week early. Unlike Finch who wasn't about to sit around an endure a bunch of adults caterwauling and came early, Ness was actually born on schedule later.

 

Because of his own concerns regarding genetic health and his relationship with the Revolutionary Army—thus, being away from home for large spans, Sabo saw himself unfit as a potential parent. Even as children came into the polycule, he considered himself more of an uncle (though was corrected many times by a frustrated Law on the matter). Eventually, thanks to Law's medical research, he found out he had a clean bill of health and as the world settled back into a semblance of stability and peace, reconsidered his stance after Koby asked him if he'd like to finally try. Meanwhile, thriving as a parent and caregiver, feeling awfully sheepish that he'd ever been apprehensive in the first place, asked Law if, despite the wait, he wouldn't mind getting what he'd wanted the entire time...

 

Anne (she/her)

Ace and Law, first born
Captain and Rig Rat of Adventure Team

 

 

• Dumber than a box of rocks, spare for the occasional 30 seconds of brilliance. These seconds are not concurrent.
• Practically weaned on hot sauce. No one has any idea why she likes it so much. Has spent an inordinate amount of allowance on the hottest peppers she can find at market. When that fails, she will literally eat them off neighbor’s vines.
• ConsequencesTM do not work on her.
• Exhibiting the essence of "The Duality of Man", in that she grew up as an even balance of 'delightful and happy child' and 'unholy terror of terrible ideas'.
• Inherits Ace's narcolepsy and eventually Law gets her on the same medication keeping Ace from drowning in his mashed potatoes.
• May be a Doubler-D in name thanks to Ace and Law, but grows up to be flat as a board.
• Anne has zero filter and will repeat anything she hears with gusto and zero comprehension as to what it actually means. Announces to her class that her father (referring to Drake, who acts as the stay-at-home the most) is a plumber “because he lays so much pipe”. Her teachers through the years are just...exhausted.
• When collectively deciding to go on an adventure, when she asserts herself as captain, her siblings unanimously agree, as she IS the most charismatic and almost singlehandedly acts as the group's drive. For them, if it's cool enough to catch and HOLD Anne's attention, it's worth chasing.

 

Landon (he/him)

Drake and Koby, second born
Navigator of Adventure Team

 

 

• First born in Round Two
• “—holy shit we’ve fed things to Jessica that look like him...”
  Fresh Landon was incredibly tiny and wrinkled and pink, and the nickname of “pinkie mouse” never truly escapes him.
• Very shy, very very nervous. As a child, most likely found attached to his dad’s tail, possibly crying.
• Huge daddy’s boy and takes an interest in the astrophysics that Drake likes to study as a hobby. Turns into one of those math prodigy autistics.
• Can be put to sleep by singing the "theme song from the shitty live-action Sora film".

 

Finch (AFAB they/them)

Smoker and Law, third born
First Mate/Quartermaster/Cat Wrangler of Adventure Team

 

 

• Second born in Round Two
• Inherited their parents’ brains, but also their delinquent mindset. Thankfully, the former wins out more.
• Is more than willing to narc for their parents, but unlike the nervous Landon, will cover for their siblings if they think the situation is still stable, or that they themselves have it covered.
• "EXCUSE ME SIR, DUDE SAID NO PICKLES."
• Finch doesn’t want gender, Finch wants big arms. Before setting sail, rather than add to their hormonal cocktail for birth control, opts for a full organ removal. ("Look dad, if I want a kid, I'll scrape one off the sidewalk. Orphans are like, a dime a dozen.")
• Despite their frustrations with some of the more mischevious ones, is completely ride or die with all their siblings and will throw the first punch the moment someone gets in any of their faces.
• Wants to grow up to be a harmacist, which by their words is a someone who helps people by harming others.

 

Ness (he/him)

Drake and Page, fourth born
Gunner/Sniper of Adventure Team

 

 

• Third born in Round Two
• The horns are real.
• Shy, but will bite you if you get too close.
• Has unfortunately inherited both parents’ severe resting bitch faces. So he continuously looks grumpy even when he’s terrified.
• Inherits Lind's rifle.
• Wants a zoan fruit of their own because "animals are better than people."
• Learned from Uncle Izou that you can be beautiful and asskickingly masc at the same time.
• Inherited Drake's artistic streak, but in the form of designing and making clothes for his siblings and friends.

 

Elizabeth "Lizard" Rose (she/her)

Sabo and Koby, fifth born
Gunner/Explosives Expert of Adventure Team

 

 

• First born in Round Three
• Inherited the brains of both, Sabo's ability to pinpoint weakness and utterly annihilate something, but also Koby's anxiety and moral compass. The idea of burning the world down is terribly upsetting to her, but she knows how to do it and do it effectively.
• Generally referred to as "Lizard", because Anne was convinced that's what "Liz" was short for. It stuck.
• Despite being one of the youngest, gains Anne as a hanger-on. No one is entirely sure who is leading who, but they think it's Liz.

 

Falin & Ariel (problem/trouble)

Drake and Law, sixth and seventh born
Doctors of Adventure Team

 

 

• Second and third born in Round Three
• Evil and spoiled. ("You have to be nicey. We're babies." -spoken mere moments before Finch mollywops them.)

 

 

As a teacher and father, Sanji was incredibly soft on the trio as children, allowing them space encouragement to pursue whatever they wanted. However, growing up with little interest in Zoro's dojo, all were allowed to dawdle in Sanji's restaraunt and eventually begin helping there. Mistakes were corrected, not punished, and in the end, all took to their work with joy and enthusiasm. As adults however, Sanji isn't so patient, as the boys also learned from other line cooks how to best press their dad's buttons.

 

When told by Sanji that knives weren't for battle, all three took offense to that and simply resolved that some knives were for food and some were for stabbing jackasses. Thus, much to Sanji's frustration and horror, his boys essentially became kitchen ninja. Thankfully, none of them inherited Sanji's firey temper or Zoro's tendancy to crash and nap everywhere. All dedicated hard workers, they take their craft seriously, though two have effectively been banned from setting foot out of the kitchen during their shifts (Sudachi and Lumia) due to their tendancy to "handle" unruly customers. This ruling has not stopped them from wandering out in the least. All three smoke like chimneys.

 

Something they all managed to take from Zoro was the lighthearted banter from his youth, and enjoy nothing more than to playfully mouth off to Sanji while cooking, leading to some wild jumps in conversation. For example, upon hearing the man complain that it was their collective fault the restaraunt hadn't been able to employ any female chefs and that they lacked a "softer touch", the immediate reaction from the boys was as follows:

 

Sudachi: So are you mad you can't convince women to work here or mad that you didn't get daughters?
Lumia: Should we wear hoisery to work? Pretty sure we can find some work-safe pumps to wear in town!
Yuzu: I'm fairly certain Suda's got enough makeup for all of us!
Lumia: All in for giving pops the cuties he wants, say 'aye'!
All: AYE!
Sanji: I didn't say any of that shit! Get back to work!
All: [laughing] Chef! Yes, chef!

 

Sudachi (he/him)

Zoro and Sanji, Firstborn of triplets
Cook of Adventure Team

 

 

• Favorite mealtime to cook: Breakfast/Brunch
• Up with the sun and with a sprawling beauty regimine, Sudachi takes things at a leisurely pace with a flair of elegance.

 

Yuzu (he/him)

Zoro and Sanji, Secondborn of triplets
Cook of Adventure Team

 

 

• Favorite mealtime to cook: Brunch/Lunch
• Yuzu works better as a sprinter than a marathon-runner, enjoying the slower expectations of the brunch crowd and the quick-lived duration of lunch.
• Gets turned around easily when rushed, and while he has the best customer service of the trio, he's also most likely to deliver a dish to the wrong table.
• Between his usual fluster and the yellow-green color of his hair, tends to persistently look nauseous.

 

Lumia (he/him)

Zoro and Sanji, Thirdborn of triplets
Cook of Adventure Team

 

 

• Favorite mealtime to cook: Dinner rush
• Slow to wake, but with the best stamina, Lumia loves the challenge of cooking and serving multi-course dinners.
• Claim to fame: specialty fondue pot ("I can do things to cheese that'll make your toes curl.")

 

 

Oarfish